Reflection Hurts

They say that the truth hurts sometimes, but that's incorrect. Truth, straight hard facts, is like money. Both are important, but they only have meaning relative to your circumstances. If a doctor comes in and says, "The truth is... you have a clean bill of health. Keep doing what you're doing," you'll probably skip out of the office and get some ice cream as a reward. The fact that gas is over $3 a gallon only hurts because I'm a student balancing my "income" and credit card debt. If I were fully employed for what my skills are worth, I'd probably be annoyed, but I wouldn't plan out my driving for the month and meticulously work my budget to accommodate a half-full tank.

Now reflection, taking in where you are, where you've been, and how to form new habits to get to where you want to go... that hurts. Not only does reflection hurt, but it's a process that has empowering and depressive waves. You may say look at what I did, but then wonder why you had to do it alone in the first place. Reflection is best done with a journal or a therapist, but you will certainly need to take care of yourself after. 

Reflection also takes time. There was a time in my life when I can look back and recognize that I was a little unstable. If you haven't gotten up from an intoxicated slumber in a room that wasn't in your house and don't remember how you got there, have you even lived? Being reckless is easy though. You can make excuses. You can blame it on the alcohol. You tell yourself, "I didn't like those people anyway. They were fake." In reality though, you don't even want to deal with the stuff that you expect strangers to deal with, so you go to work and then take all the appointments or do all the things that keep you busy. A few years ago I read this book called "The One Thing" and just recently I found my notes...

"Busyness rarely takes care of business and activity is often unrelated to productivity." 

"We are kept from our goal, not by obstacles, but by a clear path to a lesser goal." 

- Robert Brault 

Now, let's pretend that I didn't quote two European-Americans during BHM and think about how many times you didn't workout because you would have to bring a change of gym clothes to work. What if you brought a week's worth of gym clothes to your job and left them there? If you don't have a space at work to do that, what if you wore gym clothes under your work clothes? Researchers who have studied habit-building have found that "successful" people aren't that brilliant. They have found ways to reduce the static that prevents them from reaching their goals. They also are pretty resilient, because chances are whatever they're trying didn't work the first time. 

The point is, the difficulty you face is all about perception and you will never attack it accurately if you don't step out of the picture to take a clear look. It took a lot for me to step out of the picture and when I did it became very clear that I wasn't the main character I thought I was. That hurt. 

Moving with intention commands a lot and most people don't know where to start. (I may need to add it to the things easier said than done part 2.) Although, when I started to read about HOW to pause and challenge myself, things started to make a little more sense. Admitting that you're a work-in-progress is the first step. 

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